Moving Again

Well I move house yet again in the morning, although technically I didn't move last time I just kinda shoved most of my stuff in my girlfriends house and never left. We are now getting a house together and move from her house into our new home in the morning. We have now packed everything here ready for the van in the morning, I just need to go to the other house and pack most of the clothes and games I have left there. (While most of my gaming stuff will be relegated to the attic at my dad's house for quite a while) I must admit though even though its a pain in the ass at the minute, I am kinda excited about our new home.

We have just taken the Sky satellite dish down at the house we are in now as opposed to paying £60 for someone else to move it. The only problem is that my girlfriends daughter has all her toys packed away, no DVDs to watch and now no cartoon channels to watch. Thank goodness I never packed my PS3 away so she can watch the cartoons on the BBC I-Player on there. Now one stroppy kid saying I am bored over and over is now occupied for the time being, leaving us to pack up the last few things in peace. :)

Hopefully everything will run smooth in the morning, then I just have to wait until the broadband gets installed in the new house. Apparently I have a list of fun things to do until it is installed like decorating and gardening :( If I am lucky I might be able to chop down the apple tree in the back garden. :) Well best get back to packing and dreaming of online gaming again.

Moan, Moan, Bloody Moan!

Most of the arcade games on Xbox Live and the Playstation Network aren't worth shit. A fact I know most of my mates agree with me on, as we moan to each other about how such and such a game is a pile of shit, and not worth the points or money one of us dumb ass mofo`s just dropped on the pile of crap. This could be avoided quite easily if the trials lasted a bit longer than 2 minutes of the game, or in the case of the PSN games actually had a trial version instead of having to dump money on a game hoping it maybe cool.

Topatoi falls into that category after dumping roughly £10 on the game thinking it looked like it could be okay. How wrong could I have been as the preview video didn't show exactly how shite the game really is. (Okay I know I shouldn't be surprised that the preview video looked more fun than the game itself, but I am sure many others have also been fooled by film trailers which do the same thing.)

Shitty Game Topatoi!

On the same day I bought Topatoi I also bought The Punisher and Numblast. The Punisher is a pretty good game overall, well that is until you hop online and suffer from lag issues and invincible opponents. Which in turn made me wish I hadn't wasted £8 on the fucking thing, especially since the online could have been so much more fun as it reminded me of a poor man's Unreal Tournament. While Numblast looks like a piece of shit but is surprisingly not to bad of a game, and one I can see myself wasting away a few hours on here and there. It's your typical puzzler that just draws you in and eat's up your time, so you can never have just on quick go.

I recently downloaded the new Battlefield 1943 trial for the PS3 as I was thinking of purchasing the game. Upon loading the game you press start and get asked to make a EA account. (Something I already have but the PS3 won't let me use for some reason) So I thought fuck it I would make a new one only to be greeted with a screen that basically says "Fuck You, go and play something else!" okay it may not say those words exactly but it may as well do as I can't get the game to work. So as a result I have saved myself £15 which can go towards my beer and whore fund, so thanks EA for that. :)



That's not to say that there aren't some decent games coming out with a few of my favourites being Shatter on the PS3 and Yosumin! Live on the 360. Both of these games have pretty basic game play, but they are fun all the same and are currently taking up quite a bit of my time.

Shatter really is a cool game. :)

Shatter is basically an updated clone of Arkanoid, with quite a few changes to make the game a lot more entertaining today. One of the main ones has to be the bosses that appear every 5-10 stages or so, I really didn't expect to see bosses in this type of game and while they sound out of place are perfect for the game. Another nice touch is the ability to either suck or blow jets of air with your ship, which helps bend the ball around the back of some blocks. Describing the game really does not do it justice. You really should take the time to check it out if you get the chance.

Dumb name, fun game!

Yosumin Live is surprisingly made by Square Enix, which is why I bought the game in the first place. (I am a sucker for most Square Enix and Koei titles no matter how shit the game could be) Yosumin is a puzzle game that has you making rectangles by highlighting 4 tiles of the same colour. It really is a simple game and at the same time quite addictive. If you manage to get 4 tiles of the same colour in each corner of the grid you can highlight them all for a Yosumin! (No I don't know what one is either but apparently it's good) There really isn't much more to the game than that, it is just a simple puzzle game.

If it wasn't for the fact that a buddy bought Shatter and I didn't have some points left on my 360 account that have been sat there months. I would have missed out on both of these games. So thanks to Dave for making me try Shatter and thanks to Microsoft for raising the price of most XBLA titles ensuring I had 800 points for Yosumin.

Oh and as a side note WTF are Koei doing releasing Samurai Warriors 3 as a Wii exclusive title? The fucking tools. :(

Fight Night Round 4 Review

Fight Night Round 3 received rave reviews and was seen as probably the best boxing game ever made upon release. A fact that remains true today, as games like Face Breaker (A game that you should avoid like the plague) and the equally awful Don King’s Prize Fighter do nothing to improve on the ground work that was done by E.A.’s 2006 boxing title. (That is unless, like me, you are a fan of the superior Super Punch-Out on the Super Nintendo, which is the best boxing game ever in my opinion.)

Being E.A. it was only a matter of time before we got to see Fight Night Round 4 getting released. The big question is will Fight Night Round 4 improve over the third iteration of the game in a substantial way to warrant fans of the previous game and new comers alike to pick up the game? The short answer is yes, as quite a lot of things have been improved that weren’t too great in the previous game.



At the start of the game you get thrust into a tutorial which is a good thing as the controls have changed quite a bit, with punches now being thrown using the right stick. (Strangely the option to map the punches to your controller’s buttons has been removed.) The controls take quite a bit of getting used to, especially if like me the last fighting game you played was UFC Undisputed. (Which is a totally different experience to playing Fight Night) It could just be me but it seems like Street Fighter IV all over again, with some button inputs only working when they want to, causing that upper cut to turn into a body shot or hook. If you manage to overlook this slight flaw though and stick with the game you shouldn’t be too disappointed. The big power punches do seem to take forever to actually hit your opponent though, so can quite easily be dodged by the CPU, especially one that will bob and weave all through the fight.

Fight Night Round 4 is a pretty damn fine good looking game, with sweat and blood flying off the boxers as they get slammed in the face with jabs, stiff uppercuts and haymakers. The fighters look as realistic as you will probably ever see on the current hardware available, and I can’t see it getting much better than this for quite a good number of years. The crowd looks a bit better than you see in most games, (Smackdown Vs Raw, UFC Undisputed) but still not all that amazing. Let’s face it though you will be concentrating on what’s going on in the ring as opposed to the crowd outside it.

The A.I. in the game is really well done as your opponents switch tactics as you play. They are also not afraid to sit there and let you hit them blocking your attacks and then responding with a swift counter, which will deal you a lot more damage than a regular punch such as a left hook. They will also switch it up as well, aiming for your body to throw you of guard before swinging a big haymaker straight at your chin and flooring you. You really need to play the game to see the A.I. at work, some may call it a bit cheap while others will appreciate it for the challenge it presents to gamers. (Although winning 7 or 8 rounds in a row then getting floored, only to get up and floored again by an opponent that has done very little does suck quite a bit)

Throw in the fact that each boxer fights quite differently from each other, with some preferring to fight on the inside for a bit of dirty boxing, while others will gladly just sit back and take you apart on the outside before looking for that big knockout punch. It really changes things for the better as you never know what your opponent may do, which makes for a more interesting fight. E.A. Canada has really created a great game that is a vast improvement over the third iteration.


Exhibition mode is now called Fight Now, which as you would expect let’s you jump straight into the action for some major ass beatings. As you would expect a lot of big name boxers are available to choose from such as the cover stars Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali, there are also quite a few missing that could have been included. (Hell, deserved to be included like Floyd Mayweather Jr) Maybe E.A. will release more boxers as DLC in the future. As you would expect there are a few different arenas to fight in including Boxing Mecca Las Vegas’ MGM Grand.

Next up is Legacy Mode, which is the mode you will spend most of your time playing. At the start you get the option of creating a boxer or using one of the real life counter parts. This mode sees you starting at the bottom of the food chain as you work your way up to the heady heights of World Champion. Right from the start you are thrown into a tournament which winning will move you just one step closer to your dream of being a champ and creating a boxing legacy.



After competing and winning the tournament you can hit start to reach the calendar and schedule a fight. Once you have done this you select a green tile and choose the option start training. This will give you a few options of different types of training to help boost your stats, each one play’s out like a mini game. (Similar to in Fight Night Round 3) If like me your too lazy to keep doing these then you can select the option of Auto, your stats won’t rise as fast but you get to the fight your opponent a lot quicker. (That is unless you choose the option to simulate the fights as well, and if that is the case just why the heck did you get the game?)

There is also an online mode, but being a wise ass I did this review using an account that doesn’t have gold activated on it. So as such I have yet still to try this portion of the game for myself, but from what I have been told the online mode is pretty much a lag free affair. (Although expect to see the same fighters popping up all the time as opponents, as well as people throwing the same exact combinations of punches)

The audio soundtrack to the game is basically just rap. (Feel free to spell it with a C at the front because of a lot of the tracks on there are crap) The commentary in the game is as you would expect to see in any sports game these days. In other words it isn’t too bad overall but you will hear quite a few mistakes as you play. (Such as hearing that Muhammad Ali has just floored his opponent, when actually he is the one on the canvas seeing stars as you just nearly took his head off with a punch)

Overall Fight Night Round 4 is a solid game, which is something we are now seeing with many of E.A.’s sport franchises. In my review for UFC Undisputed I said something along the lines of boxing being boring to watch nowadays. Well it may still be boring to watch, but as far as boxing games go this is a lot of fun. Is it as good as UFC Undisputed? That’s something I can’t really answer as the two games are a world apart.

Sick of Meaningless Game Reviews?

Sega Show Me Some Love :)

I recently joined a group on Facebook called "Sick of Meaningless Game Reviews" The description for the group is this...... "Do the phrases "7 out of 10" and "3 out of 5" get under your skin? Does hearing that a game is a "B-" annoy you? Do you put no faith in the current state of game reviews because the paychecks of some game reviewers may be dependent on checks written by game developers?"

Now not all game reviewers get paid for reviewing games, sure we sometimes get free copies of games to review. That doesn't mean that every reviewer will score them highly if they get paid or not. heck I am on Sega's shit list and no longer receive games from them for saying half their recent 360 games suck balls. A fact that they could try denying but when the best recent releases are a Megadrive/Genisis collection and nothing much else of any real interest, then it proves the point. Let's face it Viking was an average game, Golden Axe: Beast Rider was a pile of steaming shite and Sonic Unleashed while good in quite a few places never really lived up to it's potential overall.

Don't Waste Time With This Shite Game!

With the amount of websites out there that review games, you should now be able to find out pretty easily if a game is worth buying or not as one man and his dog review games these days. A lot of blame could be put onto the rating systems people and sites use for games, although it maybe flawed there really isn't a better solution at present. Let's face it if you get rid of the scores people will moan that they have to read a whole review, instead of saying that only got a 7 or such and such a game got rated to high.

Gamers will always find something to complain about in a review, the fact is we are never going to be happy with what someone else says about a game. The reason for this is it all boils down to personal preference of the person reviewing the game, take Haze for example. (Haze mentioned two entries in a row? Am I now a Haze Fanboi? Hell no the game didn't have any monkeys in it! lol) That game has been slagged off by many people as being a really bad game, yet it is an average shooter and seemed to get judged harshly just because it wasn't Time Splitters.

If Only Haze Had These Guys It Would Have Got A 10/10!

If you don't like a game review just remember you can always write your own and tell people what you thought of the game in question. The world is full of complainers that could spend half the time moaning actually doing something about it. So next time you read a review that you dislike then why not have a try at writing your own and sharing it with your fellow gamers instead of judging or making a simple one line comment that says this review sucks.

Are Bad Games Really That Bad?

One thing that has always been constant since I became a gamer back in the day is bad games; you know these games that you tell your friends they should never ever play. Games like Jumper, Shellshock 2, Kengo 9, Earth Defence Force 2017, Warriors Orochi 2, Haze, Untold Legends and Two Worlds to name just a few.

There is just one problem though some of the games named above (E.D.F. 2017 and Orochi 2) are some of my favourite games of all time, while others I have quite enjoyed playing. (Haze and Untold Legends)

With Robot's This Big How Can It Be Bad?

You can find fan's of any bad game as there will always be at least one person that enjoys the game. Heck one of my friends thinks Two Worlds is a belting game, heck I know quite a few people that enjoyed the game despite its many bugs and glitches. So just what makes a game so bad that it is actually good? Well to me a game like Earth Defence Force has all these quirky little things like the 2D power up's and the annoying sound that is made when you pick them up. The character models are pretty poor and the controls while working could have been a lot better. Despite these flaws though there is just something about the game that makes it entertaining to me, and a real blast to sit and play.

Studio Closing Game? Don't Believe The Bullshit

I bought Haze just to see if it was as bad as everyone had made the game out to be, and while it may not be the best shooter in the world, it is far from the worst and pretty entertaining overall. Throw in the fact that it is now dirt cheap to pick up and it becomes a more attractive purchase nowadays. Many people think Haze must be a really bad game without playing it as it was the last game that Free Radical released before going into administration, while the truth is they may have survived if they chose to go the multi-format path with the game instead of releasing it on the PS3. (Which at the time didn't seem to be selling as well as Sony or anyone else expected it to)

Personally I think all games have the potential to be bad games, as it all comes down to personal preference. I really disliked Jumper but I know people that thought the game wasn't really as bad as everyone made out. The same can reversed for some of the big name games that exist, take the Halo franchise for instance. Quite a few people think that they are the some of the best games ever, while to others they are below average games due to there personal taste. (Fan boy opinions should never count in deciding if a game is good or not)

Game of the Year? Ha Ha Fuck No!

I guess what I am saying is that any game can be deemed good or bad depending on the person that is playing the game. Sure there are some exceptions to the rule, (E.T. on the Atari 2600 being the most famous one) but maybe we should keep an open mind when it comes to supposedly bad games instead of taking someone else's word for it, after all some people say Resistance: Fall of Man is a great game and not the pile of shite I think it is.

PR People

This entry originally said something about unicorns and other random stuff. If you don't believe me then the message below is for you, as nothing controversial was ever mentioned about any PR people anywhere. :p

Picking Up The Pad

Well for the last month or so my life has been pretty much in the toilet, which in turn saw me turning my back on quite a few things. Gaming being a pretty major one of them, which kinda sucks ass since I love nothing more than to sit in front of the TV and play for hours. Heck I even let my Xbox Gold subscription run out, that is how bad it has been. While things are still pretty shitty to a certain extent I can't keep sitting around feeling sorry for myself, so it's now once again time to pick up the pad and start playing like I have never played before.

So in the upcoming weeks I should be back to reviewing games on a regular basis for Console Heroes as well as updating my blog. Which I have neglected quite a bit I am sorry to say. Hopefully I can soon get hold of Cody and Code in the next few days, and discuss the future of the Console Heroes Podcast. The main problem we have is that we are not always around at the same time to record the damn thing, which kinda sucks balls to say the least.


I wrote a Gunstar Heroes review yesterday to try and get back into the swing of things, which should see the light of day sometime this week on the site. (Once Bota does his fogoriphic edit to it.) I also finally posted up the UFC review I wrote up last month which can be found here if your interested. It's going to take me a week or two to get back into the swing of things, but hopefully normal service will resume very soon.

Until next time keep gaming. :)