Monday 25 February 2008

Burnout Rant

I originally posted this on Console Heroes on my blog there,it also got linked to the burnout forums on xbox live as well.
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Game Info

Achievement Guide




Hey EA
Remember Dj Stryker from Burnout Takedown,remember how friggin annoying he was?

Now think why some smug annoying twat wasnt included in revenge spouting cack inbetween races,to say it was great that you didnt have to listen to it is an understatement.
So what do you do with Paradise?
You give us Dj ataomica or whatever hes called,who after we fail a burning route tells us how shit we are,before we travel all the way back across the map to restart it as you didnt include a retry feature.

Oh but wait we dont need a retry feature as theres always some race or something we can do to get over there.
Yes unless you have already done all the events in an area then you spend all friggin day driving from 1 side of the map to another to start an event.
Oh the joy of repeatedly travelling from one side of the map to the other over and over again.
We do need a retry feature in fact we fucking demand one.
Can it get any better than this?

Wait it can,cool lets move onto the onlince challenges ,we get an achievement for doing 25 events or something,1 for doing 2 complete blocks of challenges and another for doing 250 challenges.
So what do you get for doing all 350 Challenges and spending ages trying to get them with people quitting or getting dropped from servers just as your about to do them?
A new car? Special paints jobs for your cars? An extra bit on the map? Infinite boost?

What none of those so what do we get for doing all 350 challenges then?

Oh wait i remember now,i do believe its friggin nothing at all.
With this being the case why didnt you just limit it to 6 player challenges instead of keeping people guessing what they will get.
To say im dissapointed is an understatement,you have let all the people that did all the challenges down with this.

I believe Graf one k said it best when he said you should win an award for having the shittest servers going,with random player drops,disconnections and other problems.
Sort your servers out for fucks sake.

Wow i got a takedown let me see it,thats cool,i got another show me that one as well,and another i really want to see this and the next 20 or so each time they happen,please dont let me turn the takedown camera off as i really like seeing the same thing over and over again,oh wait i dont i know ill turn them off in the options,what do you mean i cant? so i have to do each road rage event seeing every single takedown,oh what a fantastic thing to make me sit through.

I have to hit this jump at a certain speed to do a barrel roll off it and through the fuselage suspended in mid air?
Not a problem ill go flat out and boost that will do it,no to fast damn.
I know ill go slower and boost at the last few seconds before the jump,nope to slow damn.
I know ill look at the speedo so i can work out exactly how fast i have to go.
Oh wait i cant can i as there isnt one in the game so we have to guess,and wait round for 40 minutes for 2 people to jump through the friggin hoop,unless they quit after 30 minutes then we have to get someone else in and start all over,how friggin wonderful.

Find 120 Billboards and 400 smashes?
WTF if i want to go round collecting everything i would play friggin Pokemon,i bought burnout for racing,you know that thing that everyone did online in burnout takedown and revenge.

Thats another thing why dont people do races in Burnout Paradise?
Ill tell you why because your point to point races suck, you could have thrown up some barriers and had a near enough set route with a few short-cuts for people to follow,but no you left it open so people can get lost easily and quit races.
All you had to do was add some barriers here and there and call it old school racing or some crap like that.
Congratulations you ruined the part that most people liked doing the most.

1 last thing,why have a racing track in the game with no races happening there?
Whats the friggin point in it being there,use your brains.

Despite all of this i do actually like Paradise,its just a shame its more of a weekend away in Blackpool rather than 2 weeks in Barbados.

Rant Over..............next game please

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