Initial Impressions: Muchi Muchi Pork! & Pink Sweets

Muchi Muchi Pork!

Cave have decided to release two of their Shmup's in one pack, the first game we are going to take a look at is Muchi Muchi Pork! Apparently Muchi Muchi is a greeting on the phone so loosely translated the title is Hello Pork!) So just what does a game called Hello Pork! entail? Well basically you blow the crap out of everything in sight.

In Muchi Muchi Pork! the basic aim of the game from what I can tell is to basically free all the pigs that have been captured and stored on board enemy ships and vehicles. Shooting one of the ships sees a pig with a parachute appear on screen which upon seeing my son said "Are those pigs with parachutes? You don't half play some crap!" which I have to admit is the case some of the time, but every now and then crap looking games deserved to be played. (E.D.F. and Onchanbara: Bikini Zombie Squad being two of them)


As far as weapons go you have your standard gun which with a few upgrades adds a wide shot to do more damage. Then you also have a type of grinder that shoots out from the front of your ship (each one different depending on which you choose) which grinds the ships and pigs into large chunks of meat for some reason.

As far as shooters go this game isn't to bad an overall experience, yet I have to say that the sound while playing isn't worth a shit though, luckily enough though you are to busy shooting everything in site to care about it. Graphically the game isn't amazing to watch, yet while playing you hardly notice with all the pig catching action. As shooters go this is probably one of the more easier games to play and as such is ideal for beginners to the genre.

Pink Sweets

Cave 's other shooter in this pack is again another shmup that is slightly harder than Muchi Muchi Pork! (at least it seems to be after playing the two games one after the other) The storyline in this game I have no idea about. The game is just as mental as Muchi Muchi Pork! only for different reasons. (The bosses seem to be scantily clad girls in giant robots for some reason)


While being a bit mental the game looks a lot more like a shooter that you could have played back in the day at any holiday/seaside resort arcade. This game is probably my least favourite of the 2 games in the pack if only for the reason that I felt like I had played the game a million times before. That is one of the stigma's of the Shmup genre though as a lot of the games do seem to be to similar for some players. (Myself included at times) Lets break it down Shmups are normally either top down, side scrolling or both, (3d doesn't count in my book as most 3d Shmups suck) and that really does put a lot of people off playing these types of games as you would do say a generic platform game or halo medal of duty clone number 67.

With that being said though Pink Sweets is still a solid Shmup and is definitely worth taking a look at. (especially considering that the game comes in this double pack) Cave are known as the best in the business in the Shmup genre these days and with good reason as they create solid shmup after shmup. (Yes they are that good) So just what makes Pink Sweets a great game? Well er.. nothing really it is just another quality example of how a Shmup should be.

Long story short is this double pack worth your money to import from play-asia or somewhere else? Well if they were seperate games then I would say no, as a double pack? er.. probably still no until the price comes down a bit or your fanatical about Shmups as £57 is a bit steep in my book even if it does include basic shipping. (Plus all the text is in Japanese to further put more gamers of purchasing) Muchi Muchi Pork! and Pink Sweets are both great solid examples of the Shmup genre, it's just a shame so many people will never experience the games.

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Initial Impressions: Deathsmiles

It seems like an eternity since I last played a shoot 'em up like Deathsmiles, for some reason this genre of game is very hit and miss with gamers. I always think back to the 80's-90's arcade scene whenever I hear the word shmup, with games like Gradius, Pow 'n Twinbee and R-type probably being some of my favourite games of the genre.


Deathsmiles however fits into the category of pretty f'n weird Japanese shooters, (at least that's where I would put it) yet despite that Deathsmiles is pretty fun and shouldn't be overlooked. One thing that I like about this game is that before starting each stage is that you can pick the difficulty level, so if your finding that the game is a bit to easy you can always up the difficulty level. Cave have really catered for the newbies to the shmup genre. Which is good as it makes the game a lot more accessible than say Ikaruga and won't put people off playing other shmup's.

Deathsmiles features a storyline which I didn't really pay any attention to until the end. Basically 4 girls (selectable characters) who are all friends, have been trapped in another world and are trying to stop some dude from connecting the world they are trapped in to the Demon world. As far as the storyline go it does make a change to the usual crap about fighting off invaders from out of space. (It's probably just a matter of time until we get a storyline about a sperm being ejaculated from a penis and fighting your way to fertilize an egg in one of the more crazy Japanese shmup's)

Spanning about 8-9 stages this game will take about an hour and a half to 2 hours per play through. (although I could be wrong as I just put it on and played until completion without looking at the time) Graphically the game doesn't look to shabby (although it is hard at times to keep up with everything happening on screen as you switch direction to shoot the enemies) Cave have made a pretty good game with Deathsmiles, and the Pal version has been updated with extra modes and tweaks to the original 360 Japanese version. (That originally saw a release around 2-3 years ago)


Deathsmiles while being cheap (£17.99 from play.com) may not hold your attention for more than a day here and there. Especially in today's climate where games are mainly just thrown to one side rather than replayed more than a few times like back in the day, So for these reasons you may want to give the game a rent rather than a purchase. Although if you do like it please purchase the game so we may see other Shmup's being released in the future, and also to show your support for Cave and all the work they do.

Games You Should Avoid: Fit & Fun

Yeah! another keep fit style of game for the Wii, I was starting to panic that we didn't have enough shovel ware games. Luckily Nintendo's strict quality control no longer exists as shite game after shite game appear on the Wii. Long gone are the days when games on a Nintendo system should at least be playable and fun. You know games such as Metroid, Uni Rally, (Uni-racers for Americans) Blast Corps and many others.


Gamers don't want to play the latest games like Bulletstorm, gamers want more games like Fit & Fun. You can't beat all your mates coming around to your house for a party and putting the Wii on and playing something like Fit & Fun in your underpants. We gamers come in all different sizes (different being from podgy to wow now that's a fat ass) and lets face it we don't eat all that shitty food while gaming for no reason at all. Gamers need more calories than non-gamers so we can play C.O.D. for that 15 hour session while shouting "Ima gonna kill you fags" to our fellow gamers.

You wish you could look this good!

Lets face it your never going to look like thew woman on the box no matter how much you play the game for a few reasons.

1. Gender realignment isn't cheap
2. You probably will need a lot of expensive plastic surgery
3. The only chance of you getting an ass like hers is if you attack her in the middle of the night, and mount her over your mantle piece with her ass sticking out
4. She isn't even all that good looking as far as fitness trainers go.
   
5. She is flatter than a 10 year old boy
   
6. Exercise is fucking boring
7. You probably don't even own a Wii and if you do it's sat collecting dust
8. That's probably you in the above picture, and lets face it you can't polish a turd
   

So for those reasons I think you should avoid Fit & Fun on the Wii, hell just avoid it as a protest to all the shovelware that's being released these days.

Games You Should Avoid: Sega Dreamcast Collection

In the next couple of weeks the Sega Dreamcast Collection gets released on the Xbox 360 comprising of 4 games (Sega Bass Fishing, Sonic Adventure, Space Channel 5 & Crazy Taxi) and retailing at around £30-£40. So just why should you avoid this game compilation with it's enhanced HD graphics and widescreen support? Well lets see why this isn't the bargain that you may think it is.

1. You can purchase a Dreamcast and all 4 games for around £30 and play them on the system they were meant to be played on.
2. The games really aren't all that great to be honest and really aren't worth paying all that money for when you can get better games for less money than this package.
3. Sega Bass Fishing was only fun if you had the fishing rod that went with it, and even then it was shit after 10 minutes.
4. Space Channel 5 is just pure grade A garbage
5. Crazy Taxi only really worked in the arcade (Those things that used to be everywhere until everyone decided playing games at home was more fun than having some pikey trying to steal your money while you play games) and is only fun for a quick go here and there like most throwaway garbage drivel on the Xbox Live Arcade.
   
6. Sonic Adventure is probably the best game in the bunch and even that isn't really very good.
7. Who cares that the game comes with trophy support, like anyone gives a shit about those anymore.
8. You could buy Crackdown & Mass Effect in a pack for £18 a week before this is released and still have money left for beer and crack cocaine.
   

So that is why I think you should avoid this shameless cash in and save your money for something worthwhile instead.

Initial Impressions: Monster Hunter 3

The first thing that probably springs to mind is "Why the heck is Flea playing a Wii game? Doesn't he know the Wii sucks ass?" Well surprisingly enough I do indeed know that the Wii isn't all that great for hardcore gamers. What I do know though is that some games deserve to be played no matter what system they get released on. Monster Hunter 3 is no different and really deserves better than to have just been released on the Wii. Capcom could have easily shifted more copies of the game if only they released it on either the PS3 or 360. (or better yet both systems)


I don't know what system the screenshots shown in magazines and online for Wii games come from, but I can tell you one thing for certain and that is Wii games don't look half as good at home as they do in the screenshots. One of the main things I don't like in Monster Hunter 3 is that the text is hard to read at times, (yeah I know I am now getting on in age but my eye sight isn't that bad) as a result switching the screen format to 4:3 instead of 16:9 makes the text easier to read.


As I am still waiting for my internet to be installed at home I have yet to try the game online, which I have been told increases the experience 10 fold and is how the game is meant to be played. (Something that will be remedied this Friday when I finally can go online after 4 months of waiting for Sky to get their ass in gear)


Offline though I have to say that I am enjoying playing Monster Hunter 3 although I am only 6 hours or so into the game, That being said though even in single player the game is very enjoyable. Although the lack of ability to lock-on to monsters will annoy people at first, especially with the great sword that is a waste of time to use. (At least at the point of the game I am currently up to) Despite the graphics sucking balls, the monsters in the game are quite impressive and your eyes do adjust over time as you start to think its 1996 and your playing on the N64. (I really do hate the Wii's graphical capabilites as you can probably guess)


Yet despite the fact the game is on the Wii, looks like crap and I have no internet, I can't help myself but say how much I am enjoying this game and wish I had bought it months ago when my mate first got it and said how awesome a game it was. So if you have a Wii and are sick of it taking up space on your shelf and collecting dust then go and get Monster Hunter Tri and give it a whirl, you won't be sorry that you did. (Unless you don't like games where you run around killing monsters and doing quests)

Characters You Will Dislike In Marvel Vs Capcom 3: Nathan Spencer

The 3D remake of Bionic Commando sucks balls, so the inclusion of the main character out of the game in Marvel Vs Capcom 3 seems like a strange choice as a playable character. In fact the only reason I can think of them using him in the game is due to a mental breakdown of the developers of the game. The spot that he has taken up on the roster could have been filled by any of Capcom's better creations like Eddie Falcon from Powerstone, heck even any of the Mad Gear gang from Final Fight would have been a better inclusion. (Now that's another game that shouldn't have had a 3D update)


Maybe it's just me and the bitter taste left in my mouth from playing Bionic Commando just makes me dislike Spencer as a character. Yet his inclusion just seems like a waste to me, heck he even is a waste of space in the game and is probably one of the worst characters to use in Marvel Vs Capcom 3. Could it be that because Spencer is one of the few main Capcom characters to appear in a game in the last 2 years is what clinched his spot on the roster? Maybe, maybe not either way Spencer looks like a tool and I am sure you will dislike using him in the game as much as I do.

Initial Impressions: Marvel Vs Capcom 3

Fans of the Marvel Vs Capcom series have been crying out for a new edition for years, especially since Marvel Vs Capcom 2 saw a release on the PSNetwork and Xbox Live in 2009. Although upon release on the game started to feel old after a few rounds. So just how well could a third game do in the current gaming climate, could it be like the case of Street Fighter 4 where Capcom dragged the series into something that didn't feel dated and once again fun to play.

This screen shot doesn't do the game justice at all :(

Well all I can say is a resounding "Hell Yeah!" Marvel Vs Capcom 3 feels fresh and dragged the old and tired gameplay of the previous games and bitch slapped them into submission. Marvel Vs Capcom 3 (who for the rest of this piece will be referred to as MvC3) feels fresh and is quite unlike any other fighting game around at the moment. (Not really hard since there aren't to many fighting games being made these days) The new additions to the roster for the most part are a great addition, especially Chris Redfield, Dante and X-23 who really seem to shine through. (Which is surprising as I thought Chris would be one of the worst characters to play as in the game)

Galactus is such a happy chap

That doesn't mean to say that all the new additions are good though, I really don't like the way Wesker, Dormammu and Task Master play in the game. (Especially the Task Master who just seems like he isn't worth using at all) Which is a shame as if they had been given the same treatment as Chris Redfield's character they would have been welcome additions. As you would expect the game does have some issues with the balance of the characters, but this isn't really a major issue and shouldn't take away to much from your experience with the game. Graphically the game looks fantastic and is a joy to watch as well as play (You will notice a lot of little things in the background by watching that you don't see when playing)

The endings look like they are straight out of a comic book

Capcom have really done a fantastic job with MvC3 and created an amazing reboot of the series, at the moment while writing this I am watching my brother in law play the game against my nephew which is truly how all fighting games should be played. You can't beat playing games against an opponent in the same room. (How else can you look at their face after you just beat there ass and call them a loser) MvC3 is a great game that you really should experience if only to see the advancements that have been made and gaze upon its great looking graphics. If I had to rate the game Marvel Vs Capcom 3 deserves a solid 8 out of 10. So what you waiting for? You should be playing the game by now before Deadpool comes round and whoops your ass for not owning it already!

Games You May Have Missed: Magical Hat no Buttobi Turbo! Daibouken

Magical Hat no Buttobi Turbo! Daibouken or Magical Hat Flying Turbo Adventure to give it it's translated name, is a Mega-Drive game based on a Japanese Anime series in the 90`s. I bought the game along with with quite a few other Japanese games and console from my local video rental store after seeing them on sale. (Mainly due to the fact that a Japanese console and 5 Japanese games cost the same as a Pal console)



Magical Hat (As I am going to refer to the game from now on) is the spiritual successor to the Master System game Psycho Fox, only instead of using Sega's own character they used a popular character from a Japanese Anime. The basic story behind the game was some evil dude had split the island into 6-7 pieces and your job was something like defeating him and bringing the island back together.

You were aided in your quest by a little egg that you would throw at enemies, who upon throwing would return to you about a 2 seconds later. (Sound's like something the RSPCA would be all over these days, although technically the egg hadn't hatched yet so it could be classed as pre-animal cruelty) That wasn't all there was to the game though as you were armed with some awesome MC Hammer pants! These enabled you to glide through the air rather than just falling to your death. When mixed with the bouncy poles that featured in the game these came a real delight as you glided through most of the level tapping your jump button. You also had various items to help you through the levels such as invincibility and other such things. (These were all accessed by the start button)

The enemies in the game were pretty good looking especially the bosses who were pretty well thought out. This is one of the true great games of the 90's and always brings a smile to my face when I think about it, that is until I remember that SEGA decided to re-release the game with some changes and tweaks robbing it of it's soul. The re-release is Decap Attack (or as I call it Decrap Attack) sure Magical Hat was in a language that I couldn't understand but it wasn't a shit blatant rip off of a game released just a few months before. Magical Hat is one of the most enjoyable games on the Mega-Drive and is still worth checking out today if you can find it, just avoid Decrap Attack.

Initial Impressions: Test Drive Unlimited 2

If there is one thing I don't like in a driving game it is having to use the brakes and slow down before taking a corner. Personally I am not a big fan of driving correctly in games, you know the idiots that always used to crash in to everyone on the corners on PGR/Forza or any other games? Well that's me. I don't know what it is but I do tend to get bored a bit easily on certain driving games due to the simulation aspects. Normally I would say "Give me Burnout or give me death!" but then again sometimes it's fun to play something different.

With that being said though I thought screw it and decided to give Test Drive Unlimited 2 a quick spin. (Pun intended) I have to say I quite enjoyed the 5 or so hours I have played of the game so far. Don't get me wrong some bits of the game are boring as hell, like having to drive miles away to a place you haven't been to yet in the game. Once you have visited one part of the map though you can instantly transport to it by selecting to warp from the map menu.

The initial impression I have is that Test Drive Unlimited 2 is a really good game and really does provide a nice change of pace to other racing games out at the moment. (although the story line seems a bit gay and is complete bullshit) If your a fan of driving games then this could be worth checking out, this game not only adds things that weren't in the original (like off road racing) but also improves on the original game with little tweaks here and there that make the game a lot more enjoyable.

Maybe my opinion will change as I plunge further into the world that Eden Games have created for gamers to drive around, but for now I have to say Test Drive Unlimited 2 gives a quite enjoyable experience as a racing game. (Although I still bloody hate using my brakes!! lol)

Playing With Conviction (Splinter Cell That Is!)

What you are missing out on by not checking out Playd-it.com


It was one of those rare occassions the other day where I finally got to sit down in front of the TV and switch on a console and play a game. Looking through some of the games I had bought but not got around to playing (The number is quite shocking and I need to do something fast to remedy the situation before it get's worse) So anyway, I decided to give Splinter Cell: Conviction a go, a game I really am unsure about why I bought it since I have never been a big fan of the Splinter Cell series. I must be near the end of the game now as in the game the shit has now really hit the fan.

Oh Shit I forgot what I had to do, If only I had a clue :(

From the time I have spent playing the game over the last 2 evenings I have determined a few key points about the game.

1. Your missus will start talking the moment a cut-scene is taking place.
2. You can't pause the cut-scene that your missus is currently ruining with some bullshit story about something you don't care about.
3. You end up annoyed that your missus is doing her best to try and ruin the experience for you, and will end up plotting your revenge for when she is watching something on TV she really wants to watch, and devise a plan to keep talking through the whole of the programme.
4. Splinter Cell: Conviction is really quite a good game overall, but it does have it's faults.

Sam gave his friend an owie :(

If you have ever played an earlier game in the Splinter Cell series and didn't really take to them as you were to busy comparing it to Metal Gear Solid then give Conviction a try. This takes the stealth type of gaming of old and gives it enough tweaks to drag the genre into the modern day, as opposed to the same style of gaming that we had back in 1998 with Metal Gear Solid. (Shit! was it that long ago it came out? I feel old now)

I have to say that I am really enjoying playing Conviction at the moment and although I have nearly finished the main story, I can actually see myself replaying the game on the hardest setting once I am done to see how my sneaking skills have improved since I first started the game. (They can't be any worse than my first 10-20 minutes with the game) So if you fancy a change of pace from C.O.D. or whatever other game you are playing you can't go that wrong with a quick run through of Conviction.

Playing With Conviction (Splinter Cell That Is!)

It was one of those rare occassions the other day where I finally got to sit down in front of the TV and switch on a console and play a game. Looking through some of the games I had bought but not got around to playing (The number is quite shocking and I need to do something fast to remedy the situation before it get's worse) So anyway, I decided to give Splinter Cell: Conviction a go, a game I really am unsure about why I bought it since I have never been a big fan of the Splinter Cell series. I must be near the end of the game now as in the game the shit has now really hit the fan.

Oh Shit I forgot what I had to do, If only I had a clue :(

From the time I have spent playing the game over the last 2 evenings I have determined a few key points about the game.

1. Your missus will start talking the moment a cut-scene is taking place.
2. You can't pause the cut-scene that your missus is currently ruining with some bullshit story about something you don't care about.
3. You end up annoyed that your missus is doing her best to try and ruin the experience for you, and will end up plotting your revenge for when she is watching something on TV she really wants to watch, and devise a plan to keep talking through the whole of the programme.
4. Splinter Cell: Conviction is really quite a good game overall, but it does have it's faults.

Sam gave his friend an owie :(

If you have ever played an earlier game in the Splinter Cell series and didn't really take to them as you were to busy comparing it to Metal Gear Solid then give Conviction a try. This takes the stealth type of gaming of old and gives it enough tweaks to drag the genre into the modern day, as opposed to the same style of gaming that we had back in 1998 with Metal Gear Solid. (Shit! was it that long ago it came out? I feel old now)

I have to say that I am really enjoying playing Conviction at the moment and although I have nearly finished the main story, I can actually see myself replaying the game on the hardest setting once I am done to see how my sneaking skills have improved since I first started the game. (They can't be any worse than my first 10-20 minutes with the game) So if you fancy a change of pace from C.O.D. or whatever other game you are playing you can't go that wrong with a quick run through of Conviction.