A Gazillion Deaths

Demon's Souls

This is one fantastic looking game, featuring huge enemies and amazing graphics. At first I was on the fence about importing this game, but I am so glad that I took the chance and decided to spend more money and get it now, rather than waiting another god knows how many months for it to arrive in the UK. Sure I have died on the game about a gazillion times but for every time I have died it has been my own fault. The only person to blame is me and my own stupidity for trying to rush ahead only to be flame grilled by a dragon resulting in me normally saying "For fucks sake" or "This is bullshit!" Yet I still return to the game for yet more deaths as I plod on with the game.

Borderlands

Not many games as of late have made me want to just keep playing and pushing forward just to get that little bit further in the game. I was really looking forward to Modern Warfare 2, and while I have spent a fair bit of time with it I just haven't really been drawn into the game as much as I thought I would have. Heck I have felt that way about quite a lot of games as of late, with only a few titles really managing to hold my interest for more than 20 minutes. Those ones have been Red Alert 3: Commanders Challenge, Astro Tripper, Borderlands and current favourite Demon's Souls.

Final Fantasy XIII

I did start to think that I had started to fall out of love with gaming as I struggled to find a reason to pick up the pad and play. Long gone are the days where I would get in from work at 2.30 in the afternoon and proceed to play games until I went to sleep. Gaming should be about fun and enjoyment, I just have to remember to make sure that I enjoy other things as well. At this moment in time I am enjoying a healthy balance of gaming and other things in my life. I guess I will always love gaming as long as there is something that I want to play, with games like The White Knight Chronicles, Final Fantasy XIII, God of War 3, Dante's Inferno and many more on the way I should be happy for quite a while.

Demon's Souls Hard? Ha Ha Ha

There are a lot of people saying that Demon's Souls is a hard game, well I have to say damn right it's hard. The bastard thing is a pain in the ass to play, but in a good way. Demon's Souls is kinda like a throw back to games of old as it punishes you for not learning how the game works. Take the enemies early on in the game for example, these bastards all attack in different ways and have there own strengths, weaknesses as well as patterns of attack. One of the Knights you meet pretty early on in the game he is extremely vulnerable just after he has tried attacking you, this seems really simple but until you actually sit back and think why the hell is this cunt killing me all the time as you try going toe to toe with him, that you actually realise where you have been going wrong. The game punishes ignorance and impatience, every enemy in the game can kill you given you half the chance.


Demon's Souls is an intelligent hack and slash RPG, yet it is so much more than you first see on the surface. This is a game I can see myself getting equally pissed off with and also enjoy playing. I can see a lot of people getting this game and putting it in their PS3 only to take it out 5 minutes later and throw it to one side.There is one thing every high scoring review of this game says and that is stick with it and you won't be sorry. Let's face it you will either hate the games difficulty and give up or stick with the game and try to complete what is being called the hardest RPG made to date, either way this is one game you should at leat try.

PS3 OCD

Well I decided to make a list of my PS3 games for some unknown reason in excel, while doing this my girlfriend repeatedly told me I was a bit mental and should get treatment for my OCD. Maybe I do have OCD to a certain extent my behavioural patterns do seem to support the theory, with me doing stuff like turning the light switch on and off four times in my old room at my dads before leaving the house. Then there is the need to arrange games and cd's into alphabetical order.

If I do have OCD though then at least I am putting it to good use making pretty little lists of things like my PS3 collection and other stuff. lol

Why games will never be an essential purchase..

This game can't arrive soon enough

.....According to your girlfriend that is! My girlfriend doesn't share the same passion for video games as me, don't get me wrong she does play games such as More Brain Training on the DS, random crappy Facebook games like Christmas Crunch and Bricks Breaking. My favourite game that she plays has to be guess what you have done wrong to piss me off this time. This is also one game I can also join in on as I try to guess what the hell I have done this time; this can range from not picking up socks, using 4 pans and 8 plates to make myself a sandwich, saying I will do something in a minute then not doing it for hours or as she sees it wasting money on video games when I already have so many.

You can try explaining to your girlfriend that not all games are the same, only you will occasionally hit the stumbling block when you end up getting a sequel to a game that looks exactly the same as the previous incarnation when seen through a girlfriends eyes. (Ratchet & Clank, Command & Conquer, Skate and the yearly sports updates spring to mind) OK she has a point with the yearly sport title updates to a degree, But how can the last Ratchet & Clank game look like the new one? It has different weapons in it and er.... OK yeah that looks the same to a certain extent. Still if I like the series and want the latest game in the series I will buy it as would any other gamer.

Huge Monsters!! Hell Yeah

The other day I bought Overlord II and Fuel as they were in a sale so only cost me around £15, really they cost me an extra £10 as I felt guilty about buying them, so I ended up giving my girlfriend £10 for petrol/gas for her car. (A car I should really be paying petrol towards since she drops me off at work and then picks me up in when I have finished) Am I really doing anything wrong though buying these games? The way I think about it is this is my hobby and I really don't spend as much on games as I could do, plus I have something to show for it afterwards. (Not just Trophies and Achievements but an actual physical object) Mind you the same can be said about many women and there obscene amounts of shoes, I guess games are the male equivalent of that.

Worth getting in trouble with the girlfriend for??

I don't think that she really minds me buying games though, If Nessa did she would be the first one to tell me in her own unique way of slamming her fist against my head and yelling (Only joking) She does however begrudge me buying them when we need some non-essential purchase like food or something. So just how do I tell her that I have just ordered Demon's Souls with the art book and cd for £50 from ebay?

That's an easy one, I am not going to tell her to save on getting in trouble. The only way she will find out is if she catches me sneaking it into the house after getting it sent to my dads house instead of ours. (Or reads this blog entry) That is unless my dad gives Nessa the games you are getting delivered to his house (Just like with Overlord II and Fuel) to give to you when you finish work. (Thanks dad) Hopefully it will be here by Monday as I can't wait to get my grubby mitts on it.

The review that never was...Beatles Rockband

And Oasis can piss off as well the cunts!

Now as some of you may know I write (when I have time, which lately I have had none) reviews for Console Heroes. Well I decided to review The Beatles Rockband after receiving it through the post, however my review was deemed unsuitable because I dislike The Beatles. My point is reviewers don't always get to play and review games that they like, if that was the case then there would be no point in reviewing anything as everything would get a great score, while the people that pay for the game end up getting pissed off that they bought or rented a game they won't like. So anyway on with what I consider a fair review for a game I am not a fan off. (6/10 is still a very good score though, its better than average after all)

The Beatles are one of the best selling artists of all time with a string of hits and a extensive back catalogue. So they seem like a perfect band to receive their own edition of Rockband. A fact that is seemingly backed up by the sales figures of the game and the rate that their Cd's are still selling at today.

It's Rockband with shit music

There is one problem with the Rockband series of games which I am sure you will agree with me about, and that is if you don't like the song that you are playing you won't enjoy it. This kinda leaves a problem with me and The Beatles, you see I am one of those people that dislike the band with a passion. Sure I can admit that they have had a major influence and deserve their place in music history, but I just don't like them.


I know what your thinking, there must be some Beatles songs that I like and there is probably only one song that I don't mind and that is "A Day In The Life" (A song that isn't actually included on the disc but will be released as DLC) So as you would expect the game pretty much sucked for me. Yes I even hated playing "Yellow Submarine", "Lucy In The Sky" and "Here Comes The Sun"

Fab Four? Doesn't look like R.A.T.M. to me

The games spans all of the career with most of the hits of The Beatles included in the game. The characters all look as you would expect them to look through out the various stages of their career and blah blah blah. Lets face it you know what Rockband is already and know what to expect from a game with the Rockband name in the title, and if you don't you have either been in outer space for the last few years or you have had your head stuck up your ass. There are also more Beatles tracks on the way for the game from now until the end of the year as DLC as EA and Harmonix try to squeeze every penny from your wallets.

So should you buy The Beatles Rockband? Well you need to ask yourself 2 questions, "Do you like the Beatles?" and"Do you want to play there songs in Rockband?" If the answer to both those questions is yes then this game is ideal for you, if like me however the answer is no to one of them, then avoid like the plague as you probably won't enjoy the game.


Audio – 2
Visuals – 8
Game play – 8
Lifespan – 5
Presentation – 8
Overall – 6

Red Alert 3 Commanders Challenge

I picked this up the other day for the PS3 and I have to say its pretty cool for the price. You can't really argue with what you get for a lousy £10 or so, especially when you consider the amount of time you will get from the game with around 50 or so missions said to be included.

Commanders Challenge is basically harder missions than you would see in a regular C&C campaign, Something you will learn pretty fast as the game kicks your ass. One of the reasons for this is because you have to complete missions to unlock certain units or tech to use in the game. This just adds to the challenge of the game though and makes you want to replay a mission you have previously cleared, just to get your time under the par time.

For Mother Russia!

One thing I thought would be in the game that was in Red Alert 3 was the chance of teaming up with a fellow commander, which was a unique idea but after some of the AI makes me glad it hasn't returned in this edition. So now you only have the cheating bastard AI to blame for losing instead of the retarded AI on your side. I have still to truly scratch the surface of this game, but after only 8 or so missions in, I am really enjoying the experience.

Rick Flair??? lol

While it may not be the best C&C game of all time, it is certainly one of the toughest and one you would be a fool to miss out on although it is a shame that there is no skirmish mode included.If your new to the world of C&C go pick up Red Alert 3 and give that a go first, as jumping straight in with this game could just have you pulling your hair out.

Moving Again

Well I move house yet again in the morning, although technically I didn't move last time I just kinda shoved most of my stuff in my girlfriends house and never left. We are now getting a house together and move from her house into our new home in the morning. We have now packed everything here ready for the van in the morning, I just need to go to the other house and pack most of the clothes and games I have left there. (While most of my gaming stuff will be relegated to the attic at my dad's house for quite a while) I must admit though even though its a pain in the ass at the minute, I am kinda excited about our new home.

We have just taken the Sky satellite dish down at the house we are in now as opposed to paying £60 for someone else to move it. The only problem is that my girlfriends daughter has all her toys packed away, no DVDs to watch and now no cartoon channels to watch. Thank goodness I never packed my PS3 away so she can watch the cartoons on the BBC I-Player on there. Now one stroppy kid saying I am bored over and over is now occupied for the time being, leaving us to pack up the last few things in peace. :)

Hopefully everything will run smooth in the morning, then I just have to wait until the broadband gets installed in the new house. Apparently I have a list of fun things to do until it is installed like decorating and gardening :( If I am lucky I might be able to chop down the apple tree in the back garden. :) Well best get back to packing and dreaming of online gaming again.

Moan, Moan, Bloody Moan!

Most of the arcade games on Xbox Live and the Playstation Network aren't worth shit. A fact I know most of my mates agree with me on, as we moan to each other about how such and such a game is a pile of shit, and not worth the points or money one of us dumb ass mofo`s just dropped on the pile of crap. This could be avoided quite easily if the trials lasted a bit longer than 2 minutes of the game, or in the case of the PSN games actually had a trial version instead of having to dump money on a game hoping it maybe cool.

Topatoi falls into that category after dumping roughly £10 on the game thinking it looked like it could be okay. How wrong could I have been as the preview video didn't show exactly how shite the game really is. (Okay I know I shouldn't be surprised that the preview video looked more fun than the game itself, but I am sure many others have also been fooled by film trailers which do the same thing.)

Shitty Game Topatoi!

On the same day I bought Topatoi I also bought The Punisher and Numblast. The Punisher is a pretty good game overall, well that is until you hop online and suffer from lag issues and invincible opponents. Which in turn made me wish I hadn't wasted £8 on the fucking thing, especially since the online could have been so much more fun as it reminded me of a poor man's Unreal Tournament. While Numblast looks like a piece of shit but is surprisingly not to bad of a game, and one I can see myself wasting away a few hours on here and there. It's your typical puzzler that just draws you in and eat's up your time, so you can never have just on quick go.

I recently downloaded the new Battlefield 1943 trial for the PS3 as I was thinking of purchasing the game. Upon loading the game you press start and get asked to make a EA account. (Something I already have but the PS3 won't let me use for some reason) So I thought fuck it I would make a new one only to be greeted with a screen that basically says "Fuck You, go and play something else!" okay it may not say those words exactly but it may as well do as I can't get the game to work. So as a result I have saved myself £15 which can go towards my beer and whore fund, so thanks EA for that. :)



That's not to say that there aren't some decent games coming out with a few of my favourites being Shatter on the PS3 and Yosumin! Live on the 360. Both of these games have pretty basic game play, but they are fun all the same and are currently taking up quite a bit of my time.

Shatter really is a cool game. :)

Shatter is basically an updated clone of Arkanoid, with quite a few changes to make the game a lot more entertaining today. One of the main ones has to be the bosses that appear every 5-10 stages or so, I really didn't expect to see bosses in this type of game and while they sound out of place are perfect for the game. Another nice touch is the ability to either suck or blow jets of air with your ship, which helps bend the ball around the back of some blocks. Describing the game really does not do it justice. You really should take the time to check it out if you get the chance.

Dumb name, fun game!

Yosumin Live is surprisingly made by Square Enix, which is why I bought the game in the first place. (I am a sucker for most Square Enix and Koei titles no matter how shit the game could be) Yosumin is a puzzle game that has you making rectangles by highlighting 4 tiles of the same colour. It really is a simple game and at the same time quite addictive. If you manage to get 4 tiles of the same colour in each corner of the grid you can highlight them all for a Yosumin! (No I don't know what one is either but apparently it's good) There really isn't much more to the game than that, it is just a simple puzzle game.

If it wasn't for the fact that a buddy bought Shatter and I didn't have some points left on my 360 account that have been sat there months. I would have missed out on both of these games. So thanks to Dave for making me try Shatter and thanks to Microsoft for raising the price of most XBLA titles ensuring I had 800 points for Yosumin.

Oh and as a side note WTF are Koei doing releasing Samurai Warriors 3 as a Wii exclusive title? The fucking tools. :(

Fight Night Round 4 Review

Fight Night Round 3 received rave reviews and was seen as probably the best boxing game ever made upon release. A fact that remains true today, as games like Face Breaker (A game that you should avoid like the plague) and the equally awful Don King’s Prize Fighter do nothing to improve on the ground work that was done by E.A.’s 2006 boxing title. (That is unless, like me, you are a fan of the superior Super Punch-Out on the Super Nintendo, which is the best boxing game ever in my opinion.)

Being E.A. it was only a matter of time before we got to see Fight Night Round 4 getting released. The big question is will Fight Night Round 4 improve over the third iteration of the game in a substantial way to warrant fans of the previous game and new comers alike to pick up the game? The short answer is yes, as quite a lot of things have been improved that weren’t too great in the previous game.



At the start of the game you get thrust into a tutorial which is a good thing as the controls have changed quite a bit, with punches now being thrown using the right stick. (Strangely the option to map the punches to your controller’s buttons has been removed.) The controls take quite a bit of getting used to, especially if like me the last fighting game you played was UFC Undisputed. (Which is a totally different experience to playing Fight Night) It could just be me but it seems like Street Fighter IV all over again, with some button inputs only working when they want to, causing that upper cut to turn into a body shot or hook. If you manage to overlook this slight flaw though and stick with the game you shouldn’t be too disappointed. The big power punches do seem to take forever to actually hit your opponent though, so can quite easily be dodged by the CPU, especially one that will bob and weave all through the fight.

Fight Night Round 4 is a pretty damn fine good looking game, with sweat and blood flying off the boxers as they get slammed in the face with jabs, stiff uppercuts and haymakers. The fighters look as realistic as you will probably ever see on the current hardware available, and I can’t see it getting much better than this for quite a good number of years. The crowd looks a bit better than you see in most games, (Smackdown Vs Raw, UFC Undisputed) but still not all that amazing. Let’s face it though you will be concentrating on what’s going on in the ring as opposed to the crowd outside it.

The A.I. in the game is really well done as your opponents switch tactics as you play. They are also not afraid to sit there and let you hit them blocking your attacks and then responding with a swift counter, which will deal you a lot more damage than a regular punch such as a left hook. They will also switch it up as well, aiming for your body to throw you of guard before swinging a big haymaker straight at your chin and flooring you. You really need to play the game to see the A.I. at work, some may call it a bit cheap while others will appreciate it for the challenge it presents to gamers. (Although winning 7 or 8 rounds in a row then getting floored, only to get up and floored again by an opponent that has done very little does suck quite a bit)

Throw in the fact that each boxer fights quite differently from each other, with some preferring to fight on the inside for a bit of dirty boxing, while others will gladly just sit back and take you apart on the outside before looking for that big knockout punch. It really changes things for the better as you never know what your opponent may do, which makes for a more interesting fight. E.A. Canada has really created a great game that is a vast improvement over the third iteration.


Exhibition mode is now called Fight Now, which as you would expect let’s you jump straight into the action for some major ass beatings. As you would expect a lot of big name boxers are available to choose from such as the cover stars Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali, there are also quite a few missing that could have been included. (Hell, deserved to be included like Floyd Mayweather Jr) Maybe E.A. will release more boxers as DLC in the future. As you would expect there are a few different arenas to fight in including Boxing Mecca Las Vegas’ MGM Grand.

Next up is Legacy Mode, which is the mode you will spend most of your time playing. At the start you get the option of creating a boxer or using one of the real life counter parts. This mode sees you starting at the bottom of the food chain as you work your way up to the heady heights of World Champion. Right from the start you are thrown into a tournament which winning will move you just one step closer to your dream of being a champ and creating a boxing legacy.



After competing and winning the tournament you can hit start to reach the calendar and schedule a fight. Once you have done this you select a green tile and choose the option start training. This will give you a few options of different types of training to help boost your stats, each one play’s out like a mini game. (Similar to in Fight Night Round 3) If like me your too lazy to keep doing these then you can select the option of Auto, your stats won’t rise as fast but you get to the fight your opponent a lot quicker. (That is unless you choose the option to simulate the fights as well, and if that is the case just why the heck did you get the game?)

There is also an online mode, but being a wise ass I did this review using an account that doesn’t have gold activated on it. So as such I have yet still to try this portion of the game for myself, but from what I have been told the online mode is pretty much a lag free affair. (Although expect to see the same fighters popping up all the time as opponents, as well as people throwing the same exact combinations of punches)

The audio soundtrack to the game is basically just rap. (Feel free to spell it with a C at the front because of a lot of the tracks on there are crap) The commentary in the game is as you would expect to see in any sports game these days. In other words it isn’t too bad overall but you will hear quite a few mistakes as you play. (Such as hearing that Muhammad Ali has just floored his opponent, when actually he is the one on the canvas seeing stars as you just nearly took his head off with a punch)

Overall Fight Night Round 4 is a solid game, which is something we are now seeing with many of E.A.’s sport franchises. In my review for UFC Undisputed I said something along the lines of boxing being boring to watch nowadays. Well it may still be boring to watch, but as far as boxing games go this is a lot of fun. Is it as good as UFC Undisputed? That’s something I can’t really answer as the two games are a world apart.

Sick of Meaningless Game Reviews?

Sega Show Me Some Love :)

I recently joined a group on Facebook called "Sick of Meaningless Game Reviews" The description for the group is this...... "Do the phrases "7 out of 10" and "3 out of 5" get under your skin? Does hearing that a game is a "B-" annoy you? Do you put no faith in the current state of game reviews because the paychecks of some game reviewers may be dependent on checks written by game developers?"

Now not all game reviewers get paid for reviewing games, sure we sometimes get free copies of games to review. That doesn't mean that every reviewer will score them highly if they get paid or not. heck I am on Sega's shit list and no longer receive games from them for saying half their recent 360 games suck balls. A fact that they could try denying but when the best recent releases are a Megadrive/Genisis collection and nothing much else of any real interest, then it proves the point. Let's face it Viking was an average game, Golden Axe: Beast Rider was a pile of steaming shite and Sonic Unleashed while good in quite a few places never really lived up to it's potential overall.

Don't Waste Time With This Shite Game!

With the amount of websites out there that review games, you should now be able to find out pretty easily if a game is worth buying or not as one man and his dog review games these days. A lot of blame could be put onto the rating systems people and sites use for games, although it maybe flawed there really isn't a better solution at present. Let's face it if you get rid of the scores people will moan that they have to read a whole review, instead of saying that only got a 7 or such and such a game got rated to high.

Gamers will always find something to complain about in a review, the fact is we are never going to be happy with what someone else says about a game. The reason for this is it all boils down to personal preference of the person reviewing the game, take Haze for example. (Haze mentioned two entries in a row? Am I now a Haze Fanboi? Hell no the game didn't have any monkeys in it! lol) That game has been slagged off by many people as being a really bad game, yet it is an average shooter and seemed to get judged harshly just because it wasn't Time Splitters.

If Only Haze Had These Guys It Would Have Got A 10/10!

If you don't like a game review just remember you can always write your own and tell people what you thought of the game in question. The world is full of complainers that could spend half the time moaning actually doing something about it. So next time you read a review that you dislike then why not have a try at writing your own and sharing it with your fellow gamers instead of judging or making a simple one line comment that says this review sucks.

Are Bad Games Really That Bad?

One thing that has always been constant since I became a gamer back in the day is bad games; you know these games that you tell your friends they should never ever play. Games like Jumper, Shellshock 2, Kengo 9, Earth Defence Force 2017, Warriors Orochi 2, Haze, Untold Legends and Two Worlds to name just a few.

There is just one problem though some of the games named above (E.D.F. 2017 and Orochi 2) are some of my favourite games of all time, while others I have quite enjoyed playing. (Haze and Untold Legends)

With Robot's This Big How Can It Be Bad?

You can find fan's of any bad game as there will always be at least one person that enjoys the game. Heck one of my friends thinks Two Worlds is a belting game, heck I know quite a few people that enjoyed the game despite its many bugs and glitches. So just what makes a game so bad that it is actually good? Well to me a game like Earth Defence Force has all these quirky little things like the 2D power up's and the annoying sound that is made when you pick them up. The character models are pretty poor and the controls while working could have been a lot better. Despite these flaws though there is just something about the game that makes it entertaining to me, and a real blast to sit and play.

Studio Closing Game? Don't Believe The Bullshit

I bought Haze just to see if it was as bad as everyone had made the game out to be, and while it may not be the best shooter in the world, it is far from the worst and pretty entertaining overall. Throw in the fact that it is now dirt cheap to pick up and it becomes a more attractive purchase nowadays. Many people think Haze must be a really bad game without playing it as it was the last game that Free Radical released before going into administration, while the truth is they may have survived if they chose to go the multi-format path with the game instead of releasing it on the PS3. (Which at the time didn't seem to be selling as well as Sony or anyone else expected it to)

Personally I think all games have the potential to be bad games, as it all comes down to personal preference. I really disliked Jumper but I know people that thought the game wasn't really as bad as everyone made out. The same can reversed for some of the big name games that exist, take the Halo franchise for instance. Quite a few people think that they are the some of the best games ever, while to others they are below average games due to there personal taste. (Fan boy opinions should never count in deciding if a game is good or not)

Game of the Year? Ha Ha Fuck No!

I guess what I am saying is that any game can be deemed good or bad depending on the person that is playing the game. Sure there are some exceptions to the rule, (E.T. on the Atari 2600 being the most famous one) but maybe we should keep an open mind when it comes to supposedly bad games instead of taking someone else's word for it, after all some people say Resistance: Fall of Man is a great game and not the pile of shite I think it is.

PR People

This entry originally said something about unicorns and other random stuff. If you don't believe me then the message below is for you, as nothing controversial was ever mentioned about any PR people anywhere. :p

Picking Up The Pad

Well for the last month or so my life has been pretty much in the toilet, which in turn saw me turning my back on quite a few things. Gaming being a pretty major one of them, which kinda sucks ass since I love nothing more than to sit in front of the TV and play for hours. Heck I even let my Xbox Gold subscription run out, that is how bad it has been. While things are still pretty shitty to a certain extent I can't keep sitting around feeling sorry for myself, so it's now once again time to pick up the pad and start playing like I have never played before.

So in the upcoming weeks I should be back to reviewing games on a regular basis for Console Heroes as well as updating my blog. Which I have neglected quite a bit I am sorry to say. Hopefully I can soon get hold of Cody and Code in the next few days, and discuss the future of the Console Heroes Podcast. The main problem we have is that we are not always around at the same time to record the damn thing, which kinda sucks balls to say the least.


I wrote a Gunstar Heroes review yesterday to try and get back into the swing of things, which should see the light of day sometime this week on the site. (Once Bota does his fogoriphic edit to it.) I also finally posted up the UFC review I wrote up last month which can be found here if your interested. It's going to take me a week or two to get back into the swing of things, but hopefully normal service will resume very soon.

Until next time keep gaming. :)

Should I Buy This Game?

Buy This Game It Has Voice overs!!!

I was recently reading a thread on a forum about Little Big Planet, when I stumbled upon one of the dumbest threads I have ever seen. The basic jist of the thread was someone was trying to decide if they should buy the game or not, to which someone had replied with this little gem below.

Stephen Fry does the voice overs so yeah, if your a fan of his you’ll love the game.

How the hell can anyone advise someone to buy a game because a celebrity does the voice overs for it? That is like me advising someone to go and watch the Guyver film starring David Hayter if they are a fan of the Metal Gear Solid games. (It is possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen, it stinks out the place like the Punisher film starring Dolph Lundgren.)

If only they made an equally shit game for Dolph to do the Voice overs!

Did you enjoy watching Vin Diesel in Fast and Furious or Pitch Black? Then you should go and buy The Wheelman as he does the voice overs, so surely you will love this game. Heck I have enjoyed watching Randy Couture fighting in the UFC and commentating, so Red Alert 3 should be awesome as he plays a character in that. To be fair though Red Alert 3 is a fantastic game, not because it has a host of characters but because it's a great game.

I have played Little Big Planet and I have to say that the voice overs don't make the game an enjoyable game. It is down to the sum of all it's parts and work by all the staff that created the game. It just seems retarded to me that someone is trying to advise another person to get a game, if they are a fan of a voice over guy. It is not as if Stephen Fry does a voice over for every little thing you do in the game, for the most part he doesn't even say anything. (Thank fuck as he gets on my tits.)

Little Big Planet: So much more than just voice overs!

Seriously though, this person could have commented on a few of the things that you can do in Little Big Planet. I would say it is an unique but average platform game at heart. That is until you start creating levels, which is where things pick up a bit. Any levels you create can be shared with other gamers around the world. If you don't like creating levels then you can pick other peoples to play on. Take the other day, I stumbled on a level that had been inspired by Fallout, and I have to say it was a pretty cool featuring many things from Fallout, such as radio's to listen to, enemies to shoot and Nuka Cola vending machines. Surely shit like this should get a mention as a reason to buy rather than advising to buy because such a person is a voice over guy for the game.

-------Rant Ends-----

Fun With Ratchet And Clank

So I just bought a Playstation 3 after refusing to buy one for ages. I asked my dad to pick it up for me since he was going in town today and told him which deal he should get me. The deal I asked for was the 80 gig system with Killzone 2 and GTA IV, it worked out you got both these games thrown in with the price of the console. I rang my dad at lunch and he said he had got it me, but instead of getting me the one I wanted he got a better deal. He ended up getting one with Killzone 2, GTA IV, NFS Undercover and Lost, he also decided I needed to get the extended warranty for it. (So I got a game I own already on the 360, a shit game I hate and a warranty I didn't need which is going to cost me more money)


After work I went to town and picked up a few more games for the system, picking up a few titles including Motorstorm and Ratchet and Clank. So I got home unpacked the system and set it up and threw Motorstorm in for a quick race. After that I put Killzone 2 in for a quick go as I checked out how good games on the system looked. Killzone looked pretty cool and is one game I am probably going to play over the weekend when I get chance.

Next up I thought I would try the Ratchet and Clank game.(A game I have wanted to play for quite a while) Upon loading I was greeted with a screen saying I had insufficent space and needed to delete something to make room. I was like WTF? I had 64 gig on my system to play with, regardless I quit and formatted the HDD and tried again only to see the same message. At this point I was getting a bit annoyed, so I rolled back the Killzone 2 update and tried again only to see the same screen.

I thought fuck this and started reading through the manuals for the PS3 and the game, but still had no luck in finding a solution to my problem. I at this point decided to ring the shop the console came from (Game) to ask if they could tell me how to get it working. The guy on the other end of the phone said "It sounds like your PS3 is broken so you should ring Sony or bring it back to the store for an exchange."


I know the system worked otherwise I couldn't play any other games, so I thought fuck that and rang the store again and spoke to someone else, the reply was "It sounds like your game is broken, you need to get it replaced" Again this sounded like bullshit by another person without a clue that shouldn't be working in a game store. At this point I thought fuck it and decided to search on the internet for a solution, and surprise surprise I managed to find one.

It appears that the game won't install on the PS3 if you have less than 470+ MB on the system. It doesn't matter how many Gigs you have. Take mine for example I must have had just over 64.3 gig on it, but because the last part was under the amount needed I couldn't install the game. So I needed to get my system to just under 64 gig to be able to play the game, which is really fucking retarded. I decided to bang some CD's on the system to fill it up, not thinking about how it was going to convert them into the MP3 format to take up less space. (I finally realised 4 CD's and 10 minutes or so later)


Next up I decided to download some random crap off the Playstation Network to fill up the space faster. Just 5 minutes or so later and I had just hit under 64 gig, so I decided to try the game again and it worked straight away. So I had spent about an hour trying to get this game to work and for what? I played the game for about 5 minutes then turned it off as I was so wound up I couldn't enjoy playing it. (I ended up playing the Savage Moon demo I downloaded longer than I played Ratchet & Clank)

So I wasted an hour of my life, rang the game shop and spoke to two retards that know fuck all and then found the solution to the problem thanks to the internet. It got me thinking though, what about all the people that have bought the game only to return it as they couldn't get it to work and had no internet access? Another thing is why do game stores employ some people (Not all) than know absolutely fuck all about games. It's such a shame that a game series I have always enjoyed has pissed me off so much. :(

Time To Relax

So I have started making more time to relax and play games as of late, and I have to say I wish I would have done it sooner. No longer will I be spending the best part of a day on a website doing things, I mean why should I when others ignore it and spend time gaming or doing something else. I hate to think of how many hours I have put into doing site work, which could/should have been spent elsewhere. As a result I have decided I will limit the amount of time I spend doing stuff, when I return to Console Heroes.

So just what are some of the games I have been, and am going to be playing in the upcoming weeks while I take a break?

Outrun Arcade Online

This is basically Outrun 2SP converted to the XBLA. It's a great game for 20 minute blasts of racing every now and then, and very enjoyable to say the least. The game sees you trying to reach one of the finishing points (A-E) before you run out of time. Also thrown in for good measure are Heart Attack and Time Attack modes to add a bit more longevity to the game, As well as online multi player racing. This game is worth 800 points although it is a little short, if I was rating it I would give it a 7/10.

Dynasty Warriors Gundam 2

I hated DW: Gundam, there was just something about it I just didn't like. Gundam 2 is basically exactly the same game with quite a few tweaks and improvements. As a result this follow up has been improved significantly over the previous game. I have already clocked up a fair bit of time on the game already, and the game doesn't seem to have an end in sight. The story is a bit crappy and I have never really been a Gundam fan, however if you like the Dynasty Warriors series of games then it is worth a try. I give it a 7/10

Guitar Hero Metallica

I wasted all of yesterday playing this game from lunch time onwards. I feared this would be similar to Guitar Hero Aerosmith (a game that had only a few of their best tracks) My fears were lay to rest as soon as I booted the game up and started Career mode. I have to say that this has to be the best Guitar Hero game I have played, the selection of songs is pretty great overall. There are one or two tracks I wouldn't have minded seeing on there but overall this is what you would expect from a best of Metallica collection. The other bands on the game don't feel out of place with the exception of a couple of tracks. If you like Metallica then this game is for you, I give it an 8/10.

WWE Legends of Wrestlemania

This is one of the worst wrestling games I have had the misfortune to play in a long time. It may have seemed a great idea on paper, and it probably could have been. Something must have seriously gone wrong in the development stages though, as what we ended up with was a game that even WWE Raw on the Xbox outshines. The game just isn't fun to play at all, with it's simple four button control system. If I were going to review this crap I would give it a 4/10.

So that is what I have recently been playing, games on the horizon include Afro Samurai, God Father 2 and a few others. Oh and quite a bit more of Call of Duty 4 as that games pretty awesome to play online.

How Much For 6 Days Play?

On the 26th of March I decided to restart my Final Fantasy XI account. As many of you will know Final Fantasy XI is an online MMORPG with PS2, PC and 360 gamers all being able to play together. Like most MMORPG's you have to pay each month to play the game, Final Fantasy XI costs £8.99 ($13) which is about the average price so I am told.

The reason why I decided to restore my account is because I like to purchase Final Fantasy games, and as the expansion pack "Wings of the Goddess" was on sale I felt the need to purchase it. To justify the purchase of the expansion I felt I needed to actually at least play Final Fantasy XI again.

Look at the stunning graphics!!

Upon the time I quit I was a lowly level 14 Warrior so basically I hadn't really done to much in the game, that is apart from kill Bees, Worms, Rock Lizards and Quadav's. Since returning I now have a a character that is a level 19 Monk with a level 8 Warrior as the sub job. To be honest I started to enjoy the game and thought I would play it at least once or twice a week. Now I am thinking about if it is worth it, after finding out that Square took out a months payment for 6 days play. All because I restarted my account on the 26th of March.

I thought that you get charged each month for a months playtime. (So basically after 30 days I would get charged.) Would I have been charged £9 if I started my account on the 30th or 31st of March? According to Squares Technical Support Team I would have done. Apparently it is in the Terms and Conditions that nobody ever reads. So basically because I happened to decide to play the game a few days before the end of a month I get hit with a full months charge.

Why doesn't it look like this on my 360?

Square should think about new and returning users and really adjust the price accordingly, so if you re register the game after the 10th of the month you get charged 2/3's of the price, if it is after the 20th 1/3 this would be much fairer price point and may encourage people to return to Final Fantasy XI. As apposed to getting charged £9 for 6 days play and getting pissed off about it.

Final Fantasy XI is outdated and there are much better MMO's out there, so Square should try to be helpful and encourage players to return instead of pulling crazy crap like this. Maybe it's a sign telling me that Final Fantasy XI just isn't for me, or maybe I should learn to read all the boring crap in the Terms and Conditions from now on.

No More Heroes

No More Heroes puts you in the shoes of loser Travis Touchdown, an assassin ranked 11th in the United Assassins Association of hit men. Driven by the desire to sleep with Sylvia Christel (A woman who is a lot more than she first seems to be) leads him onto a quest to be ranked the number one assassin. Armed with your beam katana (A bit like a light saber) there is very little that can stand in your way.

This game isn't what I really expected after hearing all the hype surrounding it, there are some parts that I really enjoy while others just seem to suck. Yes the game is fun to play as you battle your way to the next ranked person on the list, however I disliked the whole motorbike and job sections.

What An Awesome Mini Map! (Sad Face)

I understand why you have to work as the characters a bum, but knocking coconuts out of a tree and then carrying them to some guy just seems slightly retarded. Especially when you consider he has no customers and the trees are right by him. There are more jobs to do besides this one such as lawn mowing and garbage collection, but these just seem a bit dumb all the same.

You have to work as you have to pay to challenge the person above you on the assassins list. Maybe they made it this way just to fill the game out a bit more, but I can't say I am the biggest fan of these sections. There are also some side missions that you can do to earn money which make it a bit more interesting, as you battle to kill so many people or eliminate a target in a set amount of time.

Now This Is More Like It, These Are The Best Parts (Happy Face)

Another thing about the motorbike sections is the map is a pain in the ass to use, and you can end up being on the wrong side of a set of the building you want to enter, as the map isn't very clear. This could have easily been fixed with the addition of way points and a simple arrow to follow to your destination. The bike also handles like a piece of crap as well.

Despite these failings the main part of the game is all about combat, and this is where the game gets a lot better. The game is a lot like the old school beat em ups, where you have to defeat numerous enemies before the big bad ass end of level boss. (A bit like in Final Fight and Streets of Rage)

That Tiger Is There All The Time For Some Reason

The game does have some nice touches such as you getting phone calls before each boss fight and the voice coming through your Wii-mote. It's just a shame that the speaker in the Wii-mote isn't all that great making it sound a bit crappy. One other touch I liked was when your inside the baseball stadium and an enemy throws a baseball at you, which turns into a scene from Wii Sports with you swinging at the ball and knocking it straight back at the enemy and any others behind them taking them all out.

One thing I did feel a bit strange about was charging my beam katana, you see it only has a certain battery life before it stops being useful. The only way to charge it is by holding down the 1 button and shaking the stick Wii-mote from side to side, which on the screen ends up looking like your character is jerking off his katana.

This Is The Kind Of Graphics You See On A Wii

The game is pretty strange to say the least, but it is strange in a good way with a tongue in cheek plot. Throw in some odd weird moments such as the video store ringing to let you know your copy of "Big German Boobies 40" is overdue and you see what I mean. I think this game may also hold the record for most offensive words used in a video game as well, which is surprising as it's on a Nintendo machine.

The graphics aren't all that great in the game overall, but that is down to the game being on the Wii. (It also can't help that I am playing it on a 42 inch TV) The sound in the game is pretty cool and suits the action that is going on at the time. The control system works really well, and with an in depth tutorial that explains all the controls at the start you shouldn't have any problems at all.