Moan, Moan, Bloody Moan!

Most of the arcade games on Xbox Live and the Playstation Network aren't worth shit. A fact I know most of my mates agree with me on, as we moan to each other about how such and such a game is a pile of shit, and not worth the points or money one of us dumb ass mofo`s just dropped on the pile of crap. This could be avoided quite easily if the trials lasted a bit longer than 2 minutes of the game, or in the case of the PSN games actually had a trial version instead of having to dump money on a game hoping it maybe cool.

Topatoi falls into that category after dumping roughly £10 on the game thinking it looked like it could be okay. How wrong could I have been as the preview video didn't show exactly how shite the game really is. (Okay I know I shouldn't be surprised that the preview video looked more fun than the game itself, but I am sure many others have also been fooled by film trailers which do the same thing.)

Shitty Game Topatoi!

On the same day I bought Topatoi I also bought The Punisher and Numblast. The Punisher is a pretty good game overall, well that is until you hop online and suffer from lag issues and invincible opponents. Which in turn made me wish I hadn't wasted £8 on the fucking thing, especially since the online could have been so much more fun as it reminded me of a poor man's Unreal Tournament. While Numblast looks like a piece of shit but is surprisingly not to bad of a game, and one I can see myself wasting away a few hours on here and there. It's your typical puzzler that just draws you in and eat's up your time, so you can never have just on quick go.

I recently downloaded the new Battlefield 1943 trial for the PS3 as I was thinking of purchasing the game. Upon loading the game you press start and get asked to make a EA account. (Something I already have but the PS3 won't let me use for some reason) So I thought fuck it I would make a new one only to be greeted with a screen that basically says "Fuck You, go and play something else!" okay it may not say those words exactly but it may as well do as I can't get the game to work. So as a result I have saved myself £15 which can go towards my beer and whore fund, so thanks EA for that. :)



That's not to say that there aren't some decent games coming out with a few of my favourites being Shatter on the PS3 and Yosumin! Live on the 360. Both of these games have pretty basic game play, but they are fun all the same and are currently taking up quite a bit of my time.

Shatter really is a cool game. :)

Shatter is basically an updated clone of Arkanoid, with quite a few changes to make the game a lot more entertaining today. One of the main ones has to be the bosses that appear every 5-10 stages or so, I really didn't expect to see bosses in this type of game and while they sound out of place are perfect for the game. Another nice touch is the ability to either suck or blow jets of air with your ship, which helps bend the ball around the back of some blocks. Describing the game really does not do it justice. You really should take the time to check it out if you get the chance.

Dumb name, fun game!

Yosumin Live is surprisingly made by Square Enix, which is why I bought the game in the first place. (I am a sucker for most Square Enix and Koei titles no matter how shit the game could be) Yosumin is a puzzle game that has you making rectangles by highlighting 4 tiles of the same colour. It really is a simple game and at the same time quite addictive. If you manage to get 4 tiles of the same colour in each corner of the grid you can highlight them all for a Yosumin! (No I don't know what one is either but apparently it's good) There really isn't much more to the game than that, it is just a simple puzzle game.

If it wasn't for the fact that a buddy bought Shatter and I didn't have some points left on my 360 account that have been sat there months. I would have missed out on both of these games. So thanks to Dave for making me try Shatter and thanks to Microsoft for raising the price of most XBLA titles ensuring I had 800 points for Yosumin.

Oh and as a side note WTF are Koei doing releasing Samurai Warriors 3 as a Wii exclusive title? The fucking tools. :(

Are Bad Games Really That Bad?

One thing that has always been constant since I became a gamer back in the day is bad games; you know these games that you tell your friends they should never ever play. Games like Jumper, Shellshock 2, Kengo 9, Earth Defence Force 2017, Warriors Orochi 2, Haze, Untold Legends and Two Worlds to name just a few.

There is just one problem though some of the games named above (E.D.F. 2017 and Orochi 2) are some of my favourite games of all time, while others I have quite enjoyed playing. (Haze and Untold Legends)

With Robot's This Big How Can It Be Bad?

You can find fan's of any bad game as there will always be at least one person that enjoys the game. Heck one of my friends thinks Two Worlds is a belting game, heck I know quite a few people that enjoyed the game despite its many bugs and glitches. So just what makes a game so bad that it is actually good? Well to me a game like Earth Defence Force has all these quirky little things like the 2D power up's and the annoying sound that is made when you pick them up. The character models are pretty poor and the controls while working could have been a lot better. Despite these flaws though there is just something about the game that makes it entertaining to me, and a real blast to sit and play.

Studio Closing Game? Don't Believe The Bullshit

I bought Haze just to see if it was as bad as everyone had made the game out to be, and while it may not be the best shooter in the world, it is far from the worst and pretty entertaining overall. Throw in the fact that it is now dirt cheap to pick up and it becomes a more attractive purchase nowadays. Many people think Haze must be a really bad game without playing it as it was the last game that Free Radical released before going into administration, while the truth is they may have survived if they chose to go the multi-format path with the game instead of releasing it on the PS3. (Which at the time didn't seem to be selling as well as Sony or anyone else expected it to)

Personally I think all games have the potential to be bad games, as it all comes down to personal preference. I really disliked Jumper but I know people that thought the game wasn't really as bad as everyone made out. The same can reversed for some of the big name games that exist, take the Halo franchise for instance. Quite a few people think that they are the some of the best games ever, while to others they are below average games due to there personal taste. (Fan boy opinions should never count in deciding if a game is good or not)

Game of the Year? Ha Ha Fuck No!

I guess what I am saying is that any game can be deemed good or bad depending on the person that is playing the game. Sure there are some exceptions to the rule, (E.T. on the Atari 2600 being the most famous one) but maybe we should keep an open mind when it comes to supposedly bad games instead of taking someone else's word for it, after all some people say Resistance: Fall of Man is a great game and not the pile of shite I think it is.