Wednesday 14 January 2009

Man Flu

So I currently have a really bad illness known as Man Flu, as all males will know this is a deadly virus that can lead to death. I really have it pretty bad as I sit feeling sorry for myself while trying to get random females walking past my house to feel sorry for me, and dress in a nurses outfit and take care of me until I am better.


Apparently very few women like being screamed at in the street, yet they moan when they don't get any attention at all. Women are complex beings where answering their questions normally leads you into a whole host of problems, and not answering is just equally as bad as they say you don't care. The thing is they are right, we don't care what dress you wear as long as we can get to the restaurant on time so we can eat. Instead of waiting 5 hours for you to decide what to wear only for you to say "forget it I am not going now as I have no decent clothes". Something we all know is a lie as you spent £200 on clothes just days before. Another thing we will never answer is the fat question, we tell the truth and you go mad, if we say no you won't believe us anyway and say we don't care. Please stop asking us stupid questions that are impossible to answer without getting ourselves into trouble.

So yeah as I was saying I currently have Man Flu, normally I would ring in work sick and play video games all day with the central heating on full. Unfortunately I have started a new job so I had to go in and work, as a result I feel worse now than I did this morning, and really haven't been in the mood to play any games at all. So I have spent the evening watching TV and shouting at women passing by until the police asked me to stop doing it.


For any females reading this unsure what Man Flu is, or how deadly a disease it is to us males. It is comparable to the trauma you ladies suffer when you see a pair of shoes you want, only to find out that they don't have them in your size. So please if you see a male with Man Flu please treat him with the dignity he deserves, and refrain from saying "Grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's only a cold".


No comments: